I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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