Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
