Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
