I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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