I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
