I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
