Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
