Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize