is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
