so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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