just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
