dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
