grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
