It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
