Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
