when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
