All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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