hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
