Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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