Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
