Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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