There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
