i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
