"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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