I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
