Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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