It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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