Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize