I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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