You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
