It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
