i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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