It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My vagina just recognized that song.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
