yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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