Non-Jews are for practice
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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