I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
