ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
