I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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