She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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