Even the bartender felt bad for me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We need to get me chipped asap
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
