I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
