Is it because I queefed?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
