butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
