It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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