But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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