You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
