They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
