what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
