if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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