I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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