this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize