I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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