it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
