So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
